Monday, May 02, 2005

The Problem with E-mail Submissions

I just now sent a short piece of writing to an unnamed destination. I have a better chance of spontaneously erupting in flames than of being accepted. If all the other writers who think they're even a little amusing should suddenly drop dead, and if absolutely none of the remaining not-so-funny writers in the entire universe sends in a submission for the next eighteen to twenty-four months, my chances may increase by .01 of a percentage point. You see what I'm saying.

So why did I engage in this pointless exercise? I did it because e-mail makes it too. damn. easy. If I'd had to print it, put it in an envelope with a SASE, address the envelope, drive to the post office, get out of the car, put money in the meter, affix the correct amount of postage, and drop it in the mailbox, this never would have happened.

My interior monologue (should you be interested in such things) went something like this:

Oh, la, la, la, la, this is kinda funny. Hey, I should send this to that place. Funny, funny! Dang, how'd I get so funny? Lemme just check out the site again. Oh, la, la, la, la, yes! It fits right in. I should really send it. Just need to spellcheck. Is "paper clip" one word or two? Bomp, boop, boom! All done. Hit 'send.' *hits 'send'* Oh my God! Why did I do that? Why? You Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!

So, yeah. That's the problem with e-mail submissions.


P.S. Like Gura, I've finally bid a vaguely fond adieu to Comment This (but what a bummer to lose all my old comments!) and am going with Blogger's built-in. Unlike Gura, I am not clever enough to properly delete my Comment This code without everything being shot to hell, so I went ahead and changed my template. Blue's not really my color, but I'll work with it. Will take me awhile to get my links back up...


A. D. said...

OOOH, nice new look.

I think the email submissions thing definitely makes it all tooo easy. I mean it's nice to save the postage, but going through the motions is a kind of screening process in itself.

The same is true for job applications these days.

Shuboy said...

yes. nice new look... but, but, but did you lose all of your comments???

ver said...

A.D.--Exactly. The extra time required by an old-school submission gives you many chances to realize you're being completely ridiculous. Plus, there's all the anxiety associated with formatting whether within the e-mail or as an attachment. I'm convinced that my proper New Courier or Times materializes as Symbol with a pink background on the recipient's end.

Shuboy: Isn't it depressing? All gone.

A. D. said...


If they allow you to send as an attachment, perhaps you could send a pdf. This way the formatting is dependable, they can't track your changes, and it looks really cool.

I use the freeware program pdf995.

ver said...

Gads, you're so clever, A.D. But then I couldn't use my Symbol conspiracy theory to explain away my rejections. Seriously, though...I didn't KNOW there was a freeware pdf program!! I think if I just look hard enough, I have the ability to "save as pdf" right here on my Mac...