Friday, May 06, 2005

Girls Rule, Boys Drool**

**Except for Weez's, who are so obviously perfection.


Yesterday, we watched as a neighborhood child—a boy, same age as R & V—systematically smashed ants with the palm of his hand and...ate them. He could not be stopped.

"Oh! Don't do that. Come on, don't do that," I chided. His nanny stood by, holding the boy's little brother and sighing.

"I eat 'em!" he yelled. "I eat bugs while they're still alive!!!" He shook a little, a result (I assume) of testosterone coursing through his body.

"He's eating them, Mom! He's eating them." This from my daughters who, like me, are enamored of stating the obvious.

"Okay, okay. Hey, you need to stop that now," I said while silently thanking God that I have girls instead of boys. He ignored me and yelled some more (his voice is incredibly deep) about eating bugs alive, including spiders and mosquitoes. (What about grasshoppers?" Risa asked gently. "Do you eat those?")

Finally, after he'd eaten about fifteen ants, Vida said, "Um, excuse me? What if you were small and the ants were big and they smashed you and ate you? Would you like that, X?"

"I don't care! I don't care! I...EAT...'EM!!!!

At which point, I ushered my children back into the house.



Anonymous said...

That's why they shouldn't kiss boys. They might have bugs on their lips. Of course my new grandson will never do anything like that. He'll also be perfect.


Gura said...

As Tatang might say, "that's evolution at work." If per chance he happens to eat a bug that really doesn't like him.

And there's future Fear Factor contestant number one.

oscar said...

here is where that kid is gonna end up when he hits his teens...

Loon kills 2 swans in Bronx park

A heartless thug fatally beat and stabbed two swans, slashing one's throat, while the birds guarded unhatched eggs in their nest at Veterans Memorial Park in the Bronx yesterday.

barbara jane said...

yeah that's pretty repulsive! i was gonna say that's why boys have cooties, but now that i see oscar's story .... yeesh.

ver said...

Okay, stop me if I've already told this story...

I was once seated next to a psychologist at a dinner party. After chatting for quite a bit, I told him that I was disturbed by swans because all I could think about when I saw one was 'what if someone tied its neck into a knot?' I asked the psychologist, "What does that mean?" And he said, 'You don't want to know."

Gura said...

You've watched too many Looney Tunes cartoons. lol

And I don't know if the anteater will become a swan killer that seems to be a huge leap. I'm sure peer pressure from other boys will make him change his culinary habits.

Boys that age tend to do wierd stuff for attention. Actually boys just do wierd stuff to get attention at any age. LOL!

CookieDuster said...



Okir said...

Hmmm. This reminds me of something...

"Renfield: No, no, master! I wasn't going to say anything, I told them nothing! I am loyal to you master!

Count Dracula: Good evening, I am Count Dracula. I bid you welcome.

Renfield: Flies, why eat flies when I can have nice juicy spiders...!

Van Helsing: Gentlemen, we are dealing with the undead.
Scholar: Nosferatu
Van Helsing: Yes, Nosferatu.

Count Dracula: Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make!"

...from the film, Dracula, 1931.

ver said...

Jean: I was just about to go to bed, and I'm sure this is the dialogue I will hear in my sleep...

Cookie D: Funny you should mention. At one point while watching X lick his palm free of bugs, I thought 'Well, in a different part of the world, this behavior would likely be cause for praise..."

Tracey said...

Wait a second! As a mother of 2 boys, this behavior is not normal. Sure, they seek out the creepy-crawlies, play with them, name them, accidentally murder them--but not eat them!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the vote of childhood perfection that are (not really) my boys.

They did go on an all-bugs-must-die crusade. But that is so last year. Now it's super ninja world class wrestling.

I only take consolation in that they didn't eat the bugs, and that Gabriel is not so much violent as nudist in his tendencies.


ver said...

T-"Accidental murder." I love it.

Weez-Am I to infer, then, that the super ninja world class wrestling is performed in the nude? Hahahahahahahaha!