In a rare case of immediate karmic retribution, I find myself short an 8-pack of Dannon Light 'n' Fit Yogurt. No doubt you're sitting on the very edge of your seat; let me begin:
Yesterday afternoon while on the Safeway portion of an overly ambitious errand blitz, I looked at my watch and realized I was running way behind schedule. I headed for the checkout stand, grabbing random items off shelves and hoping against hope that I was choosing things we actually needed. Do we already have six boxes of Life cereal? Is there such a thing as too much oregano? These are the questions I asked myself as I zoomed around. A twelve-pack of Diet Pepsi, on sale for $3.50, was one of my last selections. I slipped it onto that handy little shelf underneath my cart and got in line. I glanced at my watch again to gauge the severity of my situation. It was bad: I had negative 26 minutes to make two more stops. And of course I was in the "talkative checker" line. Said checker ignored my silent plea of hurry, hurry, hurry, insisting instead on discussing her son's sleep habits, the difficulty of having a husband who works the graveyard shift, and the dangers of coloring one's hair too often. This would not have been a problem if she was capable of multi-tasking; unfortunately she was not. For the duration of each topic, her hands—which should have been ringing the groceries—remained infuriatingly still. Eventually, the transaction ended.
I packed half my bags into the car before I realized that I hadn't reached down to put my 12-pack of Diet Pepsi onto the counter. I had, in effect, stolen the soda. I played a few seconds of moral tug-of-war and, well, what can I say? The devil made me do it. I finished packing the car, climbed in, and ran the rest of my errands, all the while assuaging my guilt by saying I'd go back the next day to pay.
This morning, I went outside to grab something from the car and found that when bringing the groceries inside, I had inadvertently left an 8-pack of Dannon Light 'n' Fit Yogurt (peach and strawberry, if you must know) to spoil in the trunk. It cost approximately the same amount as the Diet Pepsi.
Let that be a lesson.