Like I'm Gonna Fall For This

There are times during the day when--jaded and scarred though you are--you feel that life and circumstance may be about to intersect and explode in a moment of utter cosmic perfection.

But it's always bullshit.

My hordes, my legions, my...okay, my four faithful readers will remember my previous reference to a story I'm trying to finish writing. You know, the "mesmerizing (no, really) exploration of mixed-race marriages, colonization, Asian airline calendar girls, hair color, and the merits of pad thai--the famed noodle dish from Thailand--versus our very own pancit." Well, today, just as I was ruminating on said story and how I wish could just fling my weary bones across the finish line and be done with the thing, the following Call for Submissions appeared in my in-box:

Mixed: An Anthology of Short Fiction on the Multiracial Experience

WANTED FOR ANTHOLOGY: original, unpublished short stories addressing the biracial or multiracial experience.

Experienced editorial team is presently assembling an anthology of short stories (fiction only). The stories must speak either directly or indirectly about what it is to be biracial or multiracial. Once assembled, the anthology will be eligible for representation by a major U.S. literary agent and for review by nationally recognized publishing houses.

Submissions from both established and talented emerging authors are welcome. We are looking for stories that are skillfully rendered, emotionally involving, and in keeping with our theme. This is a great opportunity to spotlight mixed-race people, a rapidly growing segment of the population, but one that is rarely given an opportunity to speak on its own terms. This is also a great opportunity to explore the complications of identity that come with being a biracial or multiracial person.

As life and circumstance would have it, my story's protagonist is a half-Filipino and half-white comic book artist with an uncanny understanding of female breast curvature who also happens to be--you guessed it--struggling with his bi-racial identity. It's serendipity! you say. What are the chances?! you say. It's meant to be! you scream as you grab me by the collar and shake me 'til my teeth rattle.

I posted the Call for Submissions for all you other writing suckas. I'm not falling for this madness again. Nope. Not me. Say it to the hand, I shriek even as I reach for the unfinished manuscript, a pathetic glimmer of hope in my eyes...