Does anyone else watch that "Ace of Cakes" show? The one with the EXTREME bakery in Maryland? You can tell it's EXTREME because everyone is so hipster. Pink bangs! Piercings! Tattoos! Blow torches and chainsaws! Right now one of the cakemakers (is she Filipina?! She might be...) is emotionally distraught—she is crying; she cannot speak—because it is midnight, she has been working non-stop for 15 hours, and her "Fear the Turtle! Maryland Tarapin" cake, which is destined for a graduation party, keeps falling apart. It's so hilariously sad, this situation. In the lexicon, it is referred to as a "caketastrophe."
The thing is that none of these cakes is edible. Well, they're edible, but they must not taste very good because they're composed almost entirely of fondant which, if you ask me, looks just like Play-Doh. Anyways, also in this episode, the bakery owner is rehearsing with his band in the rehearsal space behind the bakery, and because they rock so terribly hard, everything in the bakery starts shaking, there are cakes falling over, coffee spilling, glass breaking. Because it's so EXTREME, you know!?
Now they're about to make a Taj Mahal cake! While simultaneously making a cake in the shape (or should I say "fondant in the shape...) of a basket filled with a hamburger, fries, and onion rings! This one is for the 90th birthday of the proprietor of what was once Maryland's premier deli! Oh, wait! They just said they made the hamburger, fries, and onion rings out of rice krispies. WHAT? How did I miss that? I don't understand.
Oh, yes, baby! Back to the Taj Mahal! They're even doing the reflecting pool. This is crazy, this cake! I have to go! Leave me alone!