Because I am a spaz, I am ever on the lookout for situations often referred to in parenting books as "teachable moments." When Lea recently presented me with the gift of a drawing, the central character of which was flanked—as always—by two hearts ("This is you and me," she explains every time, "but as hearts..."), I set about manipulating her into adding more details to it.
I've noticed, you see, that educators are forever demanding "more details," and though I don't completely understand the logic surrounding the insistence that more details are always better, I instigated this conversation anyways. Because I am, as stated in sentence #1 and continually throughout this post, a spaz:
Spaz Mom using Spaz Voice: Oooh, tell me about this picture!
Normal Child: Well, this is a bear. This is his nose, and down here is his neck. It's for you.
Spaz Mom in Manipulation Mode: I like it. So...where does the bear live?
Normal Child: In a cave with lots of flowers on the side.
Spaz Mom Staying on Task: Oh! Where are the flowers?
Normal Child: Um, Mama, he's not in his cave right now.
Spaz Mom, Still Trying Her Spaz Best:: No? So where is he?
Normal Child: He's on a piece of paper.
Spaz Mom, Defeated: I'm gonna keep it right here on my desk.
With you (whoever you are) as my witness, I vow to never again subject my children to such foolishness. Until, that is, the next time I subject my children to such foolishness. Here, by the way, is the drawing accompanied by its creator: