A few months back I completed a grant application to do some extensive Latino outreach work at R & V's school. Well, we received the grant, and I've spent much of the last ten days in various conference settings with an earpiece on, having Spanish translated into English for me and trying to strike the right balance between wanting to help and not wanting to overstep boundaries.
I enjoy this work for the obvious reasons, but also because it's like a giant hand pushing me right out of my nesting ground comfort zone. It's an amazing experience, for example, to be the person in the room who can't speak or understand the language in use. And to be the person in the room about whom others are wondering what's she doing here? It's uncomfortable. And when I'm uncomfortable, I tend to play the aloof card. Perhaps some of you have seen me do this? Well, it's not an option in this situation since it would defeat the purpose for having started the whole thing in the first place. And yet I don't want to be seem like some crazed, annoying, and overeager nutjob, either. What to do?
In one of the meetings a woman from Mexico was talking about how the Latino community is made up of many different cultures and how some of them can't stand each other. She said, "We're not like the Asians—they all get along..."
Ohmalord.
Which Asians would that be?!!
Anyways, there is much for me to think about/sort through as I gleefully spend the grant money, so if ever I am away from my bloghome for a bit, that's probably what I'm doing.
And writing, too, of course. It's slow coming, but I'm okay with that.
4 comments:
we always think the other ethnicities have "unity" way better than we do. Is that part of our "oppressed" mentalities that we as a race aren't perfect enough, as if there's world peace everywhere else but here.
Congrats on the grant! May you do wonderful things with it!
I salute you, Ver. That's some hard but worthy work you're doing--sorry if that sounds cheesy, but it's true! Being the odd person out is always difficult, and I feel it whenever I'm the only Asian among other people of color, or non-white person in a graduate class, or Filipino in room full of South or East Asians. It is extremely uncomfortable, and the feeling that you have to "prove" yourself according to other people's expectations of you can be frustrating and distancing; so I do understand your aloof reaction. Since I personally like to start with warmth whenever I meet people, when I butt up against others' stereotypes of me, it's hard to do that, you know?
Anyways, it's nice to know how things are going over there at the Nesting Ground. Good luck!
Thanks for the encouragement, you two. It's challenging, but I'm learning so much. And I'm meeting good people, too.
On the discomfort thing...I have to say that there have been times I've been in a room full of Filipinos and felt just as awkward. So crazy.
Oh yes, I've felt that, too, Ver. Happens even when I'm with family!
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