Yesterday, Vida was punched twice—TWICE! PUNCHED!—by a fourth grade boy after school. Eyewitness accounts confirm that the boy's actions were unprovoked and that, in fact, the two of them hadn't exchanged a word or even a look. He just walked up to her and punched her once, which elicited a shocked, silent response from Vida. "Do you want me to do it harder?" he said. He then hit her harder and ran off.
I realize that this could have been his way of saying, "I like you and do not have the words to express myself," but frankly I don't care. When I rounded the corner and saw my kid crying and heard the myriad other girl voices explaining what had happened, my reaction was such that there could have been no doubt in anyone's mind that I attended public school in Daly City.
In other words, my lovelies, your Nesting Ground Mistress LOST HER MIND. I was so utterly unencumbered by common sense that I might as well have been wearing the circa 1980 Daly City-sanctioned female uniform of creased baggy pants, black jellies, and my boyfriend's Member's Only jacket. I might as well have had elaborately feathered my hair, rimmed my eyes with the lighter-softened tip of a Maybelline eyeliner, and sprayed myself with Jovan Musk. I might as well have been standing at the 28C bus stop surrounded by a bunch of girls who wanted to kick my ass.
But I digress!
All is well now, and as I descended from the wuthering heights of my insanity, I realized two things:
1) I kind of wish this had happened to Risa instead because she would have just gone all Matrix on the kid and that would have been the end of it.
2) No one is ever going to punch Vida again.