Tuesday, May 13, 2008

My Kingdom For a Jumpy Monitor or Two. Or Ten.

I'm sitting here frantically working, and it occurred to me that my current task is both sad and hilarious (not to mention ridiculous, meaningless, and fraught with anxiety). What am I doing? I'm coordinating all the volunteers for the girls' school carnival this Saturday, and I can't scare up enough people to monitor the dreaded jumpie things. Everyone's into the tattoos and face painting and games and food service, but the jumpies are anathema.

Truth be told, I can't blame them. I was a Jumpy Monitor (or as I referred to myself, "Matron of the Asylum") last year, and it was the longest 90 minutes of my life.

Perhaps the problem was that I oversaw the long, obstacle course jumpy that's reserved for the bigger kids. Bigger kids = not so fun.

Perhaps the problem was that I did not have a bullhorn and/or whistle. Raw throat = not so fun.

Perhaps the problem was that it was not okay to curse to make the severity of my threats truly understood. Restraints on language = not so fun.

Perhaps the problem was that I became obsessed with one particular kid who was an EVIL CHEATER, and I became determined (in a somewhat sitcom-like way) to exact my revenge on his EVIL CHEATING SELF. Revenge obsession = not so fun.

So, yeah. Not a lot of takers in jumpy land.

1 comment:

Shuboy said...

i would imagine that those jumpy things smell like feet. Little children feet. Just like those rooms filled with little plastic balls. ick.