Thursday, March 09, 2006

Life In the Snack Shack

I spent much of last night and most of this day praying to The God of Rain. Oh God of Rain, I humbly beseech you: make it pour, make it pour. Please bathe the land in your tears so I won't have to work my mandatory shift at the "Snack Shack" for the youth softball association. Oh please oh please oh please.

Eventually, The God of Rain heard my prayers, but not until I had spent nearly two hours in the horrifying and loathsome Snack Shack. Not until I had poured ten pounds of nasty nacho cheese and "chili" over twenty pounds of tortilla chips. Not until I had fished several quarter-pound hot dogs out of the murk and into buns. Not until I had pulled dozens of corndogs from the freezer and microwaved them in the circa 1982 microwave. Not until I had asked "Um, regular or barbecue?" to twenty-five people who wanted sunflower seeds. Not until a weird lady with smeared eyeliner and hair akimbo approached the window five separate times and each time ordered only a .10 tootsie roll.

Because I love you I will not describe anything having to do with the clean-up portion of my Snack Shack shift. I will only say that...

...I am changed.

I am changed forever.


Gura said...

Is that why we have major storms til like Saturday?

I worked the high school kitchen when I was in high school. I'm feeling ya on the nacho cheese and chili (and the subsequent cleaning of the nacho cheese and chili containers). That's some serioius toxic waste sludge.

I've come to learn that regarding wishes/prayers to various gods, that requests must be very specific, because I believe that God/gods/universe have a twisted sense of humor and when you're not specific, they twist. Cuz maybe they'll just make it rain the next time you have your mandatory shift.

cztlfi - the God of Rain snickering or the sound cold nacho cheese makes when plopping out of the can

ver said...

Okay, the worst part is that the people who worked the stand the night before DID NOT wash out the cheese and chili containers. *shudder*

jokmc - neglecting to specify when praying to The God of Rain.

Anonymous said...

honey, onh my girl. that really is a responsibility best left for the weekend and ... me. you are the suburban godess you never knew you could be but... let me be the snack bar king chat-em-up that i was clearly meant to be.

marriage is about a blending of skills and, this needs to be my domain. i love you for the effort though and so do the girls.

and now out of my comfort zone, um, jzdbd - the reluctant dip of a softball snack bar chip into whatever that is we are dipping into? hey, i tied.

Anonymous said...

have another drink... make that, i tried.

(love from florida)

ver said...

Oh, geez, it can't get much worse than sitting in a Florida hotel bar reading my blog. Drink away...

(love from the homestead)

jemrdcq - the effect of alcohol intake on one's spelling and/or grammar.