In the immortal words of Rafiki: It is Time. Time for at least 125 members of my paternal family to gather at the annual Delfino Family Reunion. I am obsessing over the following:
1) Will Girl from Ipanema once again be the most performed song?
2) Which strapping young Delfino male will win the game in which he is forced to push an orange across the finish line while gyrating his hips which in turn causes the cucumber--which is tied around his waist with a long string--to schwing?
3) Will this be the year that our elusive cousin Des, lead singer of Julie Plug, shows up?
4) How long will it take for Lola Pilar's chicken relleno to disappear from the table? And who will be the culprit?
5) How many kids will accidently ingest jell-o shots?
6) How many non-clan members from nearby picnic sites will migrate to our party? Who will slap their hand as they try to make off with the sio pao?
7) How many versions of the following conversation will be heard?:
"Who is that guy?"
"It's Lolo so-and-so's son."
"What's his name?"
"Adobo."
"Adobo?"
"Yeah. Adobo."
"Why haven't I ever seen him before?"
"He's here every year, you idiot."
"Shut up!"
8) And speaking of adobo, who will win the Adobo Contest? Will there be a bribing scandal? Will official grievances be filed?
and, finally...
9) Will any clan member be foolhardy enough to choose this time to introduce his/her new love interest to the family? Will said love interests run screaming after hearing the seventh vocal interpretation of Girl from Ipanema?
Look out Lake Elizabeth.
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