Once upon a time people wrote letters. Then they wrote e-mail. And now they quip via social networks. Which means my mailbox was not as full as it once was, a situation I found most grievous. So now I'm on Facebook, and my lovelies are saying ha-ha-ha I knew you'd do it sooner or later; or ha-ha-ha I can't believe you're on Facebook; or shoot, now you're on Facebook; or—my favorite—what the hell are you doing on Facebook? All I can say is if you people ever wrote e-mail, I wouldn't be on Facebook. I am so, so, so mad at you.
*turns on heel and goes to...Facebook*