1. To state the uninteresting and super-obvious, it's cold. And yet, my tomato plants continue to yield perfectly good tomatoes. Global warming? Enchanted garden? You tell me.
2. And while you're at it, can you please tell me how to turn off my rear window wiper? Because it hasn't rained in several days, and still the wiper swipes every 30 seconds or so. It's embarrassing already. Don't advise me to look it up in the manual; just tell me.
3. Patrick says his editor refers to My American Kundiman, as "MAK." For no reason at all (other than the fact that I just...I just...well, I make shit up) I have developed a theory about this. I think his editor feels self-conscious about pronouncing the word "kundiman," in much the same way I feel self-conscious pronouncing "Montmartre." Agree or disagree?
4. I showed Lea a picture of me and the spousal unit taken about seven years ago, long before the former commenced with his weekly shaving of the head ritual (performed, quite handily, by me). I pointed to me and said, "Who's that?" She said, "That's you." I pointed to the SU and said, "Who's that?" She said, "That's Freddy." So my question to you is...who is Freddy?