Please stop talking so loudly to your trainer. If you are unable to do that, please stop telling her how "clear" you are. How open, how honest, how free of negativity. Please stop telling her that it has taken you years to get to this place and how it was "really, really hard, you know?" And most of all, don't ever say loudly enough for anyone else to hear that if your lover were to take an axe and cut you open, he would find nothing but peace within you.
The Woman Whose Workout You Totally Screwed Up
Dear Checkperson at Safeway,
Please stop referring to me as "Mrs. Mendoza." You're close, but not really. Please stop saying, "Well, hello, Mrs. Mendoza!" and "You have a good day now, Mrs. Mendoza!" and "Where are the kids today, Mrs. Mendoza?" I appreciate friendly neighborhood customer service as well as the next, um, Mrs. Mendoza, but only if you get my name right. I am writing this message in a bloggle because I am too embarrassed to correct your mistake. And it's all your fault because you keep calling me Mrs. Mendoza with so much volume, force, and confidence. If you had just said it once, and tentatively at that, I could have gently told you my actual name.
Dear Fancy Ladies at the Burlingame Street Fair,
Wow. You're fancy.
The Woman With A Denim Jacket Tied Around Her Waist
First of all, I'm sorry for your loss. Second, why not try eBay?
Your Fan at Nesting Ground