Monday, February 23, 2004

Fun With Your Dentist

Is it possible to enjoy your time at the dentist? Oh, yes. Yes it is. But what you have to do is this: pick a new dentist. On the initial paperwork that you are required to complete, make sure to check "Yes" when asked if you are "fearful" of the dentist. And in the "Additional Comments" section, re-iterate your misapprehensions. Then sit back and relax as the entire office proceeds to cater to your every whim: enjoy the soft blanket handed to you by the whispering hygienist who frees it from the pink velvet ribbon in which it is bound; if the music is not to your liking, simply say, "Jackson 5, please!"; sweetly ask if you can take the People from the waiting room—the one that asks the all-important question: "Can J. Lo and Marc Anthony last?"—home because you're not done with it, and it shall be yours. Everyone will ask how you're doing several times. They will touch you gently on the arm. They will smile and tell you that you have very pretty teeth.

It's the 157th next-best thing to going to the spa.

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